When I woke up, I questioned what would have happened if I hadn’t?..
I had complications with the delivery of my first son that put me in a follow up surgery a year later, a complication from that surgery put me in the emergency room in the middle of the night a few weeks after that. When I woke up, I questioned what would have happened if I hadn’t woken up from any of these surgeries and experiences. I started to question what I stood for, and how would my children remember me? I had hit all my “goals”. I had checked all the boxes. Don’t get me wrong I was grateful for that, and proud of myself. But gratitude doesn’t negate desire and I didn’t want to be defined only by these milestones.
It made me think of a road trip, a trip where everyone had told me “oh you’ve got to check this out”, “make sure you do this”, “don’t do this, don’t miss this” and me just nodding my head taking mental notes. And then, you take the road trip, you try to fit everything in. After the trip you realize you technically were “there” but you didn’t really stop to enjoy any of it, and you were there to just say you’ve been there.
I didn’t want to live life just checking the boxes. I didn’t want to wonder what my kids would say about their mom when my days end here. I wanted to make myself proud, I wanted my kids to be proud to call me their mom, I want to make a difference, and I want myself and others to know the real me, and that didn’t come from check boxes.
That came from living life intentionally, to allow myself to take uncomfortable action, to question who and what I wanted to stand for and to take one step at a time, one day at a time, to live as that person I wanted to be. For me, for my family, and more.
But do you even really remember the trip?
As I stepped into this new self becoming and self discovery, I was awoken to how many women chose not to have children because they felt they’d have to push their dreams to the side and how many women truly did push their dreams to the side after becoming mothers.
I wasn’t okay with this narrative. Motherhood isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. But if it is for you, you should know you are allowed (and should be) both. You are you, and you are Momma.
But how? How was I going to step into this new knowledge, how was I going to approach life differently with this new perspective? Well I did a lot of research. I found templates, mentors, articles. I defined what my values truly were, I redefined what goals meant to me.
Ever evolving and continual progression.
My goals are ever evolving. I believe they should be. To me, having goals is the process of questioning your desire and the action you should take to evaluate and fulfill them. I am not perfect and at the end of my days I do not expect my children to state that I was, but I do hope they say.. “Momma always had goals”.
That mindset is what brought Momma Has Goals LLC to life. After creating the foundation of my self becoming journey I wanted to help more women do the same. To allow women to find their highest potential as an individual as well as a mother, and for any other title they carry in life.
Between various programs and communities we are reimagining mom life.