Feb Day 22

Today’s prompt is given to our community from Chelsea Roche.

We all have an inner critic, and they are always just trying to keep us safe. People will often either accept the critical words as true, or try to deny them completely. Instead, I encourage people to acknowledge the intent of the words; they are our brain’s attempt to protect us.

For example, when setting a goal, your mind might tell you that it’s too big, or that you are not qualified, and that you might as well not try. This is your brain trying to protect you from social rejection, financial loss, emotional discomfort, etc.

When we understand this, we can start to speak to our critic differently. “I see what you’re saying. Thank you, but I’m going to pursue this goal anyway.”

To practice, we can identify the things our critical voice tends to tell us. Make a list. Be sure to include obvious critical thoughts (you are a bad mom), as well as less obvious ones (you should have said that in a less mean way).

Then make a point to notice when these thoughts come up, and respond differently. “I see that you’re trying to keep me safe, thank you.”

When we learn to be less critical of ourselves, we automatically become less critical of others. And when others are critical of us, we are able to take what might be of value in the feedback, and to understand that whatever they said is more about them than us.

Members can do this activity individually.

Chelsea is a mom of two, bonus mom of one, certified yoga instructor, and former software engineer. She loves being in the mountains, hiking with her family, and going on adventures! She started her parent coaching business about a year after quitting her corporate job and being a stay at home mom for a while. She cares deeply about helping parents see themselves, their children, and their relationship differently so that they can make space in their lives for what matters.